Hello. I have gathered you here to present the Robert Pattinson look that made one person on Instagram ask, “Why is he dressed like a Bulgarian grandma?”
Behold, R. Patz at the Dior Fall-Winter 2023-2024 Paris Fashion Week show. The outfit is from the collection, and Robert is a “global ambassador” for the brand. Does this context help? I have no idea.
Now, this look is a rich text. Allow me to begin: We start with the fluffy jacket/zip turtleneck combo. Some might say that Rob Pattinson in a brown zip-up conjures images of that meme of him standing in a kitchen in a tracksuit. Not I! This look is far too sophisticated!
Next, we have the tweed skirt — complete with a hint of shin for maximum Victorian-style swooning. I am unabashedly a fan of skirts in menswear. It’s why I’m such a little basic bitch for Thom Browne, even if it can give me flashbacks to when I had to wear a hideous kilt to school until I was 16.
We end with black rubber boots and below-the-knee socks. Finally, a look one can wear to the front row of fashion week and when wading in shallow ponds.
What I’m getting at here is that I don’t think the individual pieces of this look are bad — quite the opposite. But all combined? It’s…powerful, I’ll give you that.
Of course, he’s Robert Pattinson and could look good in a trash bag stuck together with duct tape. I would be remiss not to include some of the more arty shots from the show. The man did read poetry as part of it, after all!
The blur here makes his skin look dazzling, a bit like…no, I won’t say it.
He also posed with other famous people. According to WWD, either Eddie Redmayne or Robert joked that the skirt came with “a little extra ventilation.” I cannot tell if it was Eddie or Robert who made the joke, because either the phrasing is off or I am an idiot (latter is more likely).
But what do I know about fashion? I am writing this in sweats and an Edward Cullen T-shirt (I wish I was joking).
