The relationship between the Miami Heat and failed crypto company FTX is closer to over, as the latter asked a bankruptcy judge to end its sponsorship of the NBA franchise’s arena. FTX filed for bankruptcy in November, and its CEO, Sam Bankman-Fried — who is charged with fraud, money laundering, and campaign finance violations but has pleaded not guilty — is out on bond, serving house arrest at his parent’s Palo Alto, Calif. home.
(The arena is owned by Miami-Dade County, which also houses the University of Miami, which, as you may remember, had a scandal of its own — a $930 million Ponzi scheme led by a booster.)
The Miami-Dade government now has to find a new naming rights partner for the venue — formerly American Airlines Arena before the FTX deal.
With that search underway, what temporary name did the county decide on?
Here is the quote that Miami-Dade Mayor Daniella Levine Cava’s communications director gave the Miami Herald:
“It’s going to be referred to as ‘the Arena’,” Natalia Jaramillo told the outlet. “With a capital A.”
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A capital “A,” of course. The capital letter makes the name significantly less lazy.
I guess I should be happy that the Miami-Dade government didn’t spend a great deal of brain power renaming the Heat’s arena. However, I don’t vote in that county. The name sucks. Dade County Coliseum was right there!
Then again, why get the fans attached to something that will get replaced before the next season begins? Maybe the best idea is to make the temporary name bland. It might even be beneficial to go that route. Some of the greatest nicknames and titles ever thought up are rather generic.
The Washington Football Team
Washington professional football fans, save your 2020 and 2021 merchandise because if human beings still exist in 50 years it will be worth a fortune. There are 10 people currently watching a Chicago Cardinals pennant on eBay that is listed at $110.00. That’s just a bedroom-sized flag from an NFL team that changed locations twice. By 2070, any memorabilia from the short-lived “Football Team” era might be a decent inheritance for the next generation
The Game
Michigan vs. Ohio State — nothing that uniquely Midwestern is held with such national reverence. The teams first faced off against one another in 1897, and the most recent meeting had huge College Football Playoff implications.
There might be the annual New York Yankee-Boston Red Sox series, and the Battle for Tobacco Road between Duke and North Carolina, but when the Wolverines and Buckeyes square off, it’s THE GAME.
(Honorable mention: the rapper The Game, former WWE superstar Triple H; and the CW/BET/Paramount Plus program of the same name.)
“The Bachelor”
The world of television has gone through substantial changes over the last 20 years, but people still want to see those roses distributed. All of the brilliant ideas in television, and our MTV Spring Break-molded hearts want to see a stranger put a gaggle of potential mates through a season’s worth of challenges and mind games to select one significant other on a network television series. These days there are podcasts about the show. Popular ones.
The Artist
Did Prince release his best music when he went by this name? Of course not, but that’s because by the mid-1990s his catalog had nowhere to go but down. From 1978-1992, Prince made hit records the way that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar made hook shots — constantly. Then, to make him even more of a legend, the reason he changed his name from the one that his parents gave him was to get out of a recording contract that wasn’t giving him a proper cut of the profits.
The Toe
Justin Tucker could go without missing a field goal or extra point for another 20 years, and still won’t be as cool as the late Lou Groza, an offensive tackle and a placekicker who has a national collegiate football award named after him. Sebastian Janikowski could never.
The Boys
In the late 1980s early 1990s, if the right person saw a group of young Black people who could hold a note, and perform some aerobic dances, they could surge up the charts. The Boys signed with Babyface and LA Reid and their first single, “Dial my Heart,” peaked at No. 13 on the Billboard top 100 in 1989 — I do feel bad for the one member of the group who couldn’t do a backflip for the video. Their next single, “Crazy” topped out at No. 29.
The Temptations
Ain’t nobody comin’ to see you, Otis!
Leon improvised that line in The Temptations mini-series while playing the group’s troubled lead singer, David Ruffin. Only the group only knows the exact words used in confrontations, but the public got treated to lovely words that they recorded.
“She got a sweeter song, than the birds in the trees.” “If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy, I don’t mind cause you mean that much to me.”
And of course the world’s greatest version of “Silent Night” that once the beat drops begins: “In my mind. I want you to be free.”
(Just keep them away from Dewey Cox.)
The Dream
Hakeem Olajuwon’s legal name was pronounced incorrectly for years, but everyone got the nickname right. Because, in the 1980s and 1990s, centers didn’t move like he did with the ball in his hands. Not only did he “Dreamshake” defenders in the paint, but when the tables were turned, and the opposition had the ball, dreams of scoring were pinned against the backboard.
The Wood
The movie did not capture everyone’s teenage experience. However, for those who were once boys trying with all of their might to experience what they thought was the pinnacle of manhood, this movie brings back some memories. The first school dance, getting to the moment they worked so hard for only to find out that their safety device had expired, and of course having to hide “the wood” in the middle of a school day.
For those who lived those experiences, the movie brings back some memories.
The Wire
The greatest series in the history of television. No other show has better illustrated America’s problems, and the way in which those problems were unveiled to the world was perfect. It started with one drug crew, on one side of a major American city, and one police detail trying to stop it. By the end, a viewer found out how society turns an eighth grader trying to care for his younger brother into Omar Little.
President John F. Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” There isn’t much anyone can do when their country never provided them with a stable place to learn and grow.
